My Birth Story
On the 13th of September 2023 I had my 36 week check up appointment at the clinic.
I had actually been there the previous week and did all that was needed for the 36 week check appointment as we accidentally booked early. My midwife for that appointment asked if I would still like to come in the next week anyways, We both decided that it wouldn’t hurt to have another check up.
( Our guardian angel was most definitely looking out for me & Bub. Thank you Mumma )
during this appointment on the 13/09/23 my blood pressure increased a lot higher then it usually was, after multiple attempts my blood pressure was still appearing to be high, the midwife then asked me to take a urine sample for testing, she then sent me to get a couple of blood tests before admitting me up into the maternity ward to wait for the results.
At this point I was starting to worry, any out of the ordinary moments during pregnancy can be very scary, your only wish if for you baby to be safe and healthy.
As I was waiting for the results from my blood and urine test I was on a monitor for bubs heart rate, everything was fine seen on the monitor and that was very reassuring for me.
His heart rate was always around 120-130s and always seemed to stay around that.
After some time a doctor came into the room to tell me the results, I was diagnosed with pre eclampsia - this is a potentially dangerous pregnancy complication characterised by high blood pressure, this can lead to serious or even fatal complications for the baby and mother.
This was very heartbreaking to hear, I was so glad my partner Bailey was right by my side when I heard the news because in that moment I had no feeling other then numbness, in complete shock that my young and I thought to be healthy body could fail me especially during my pregnancy with my first baby.
The doctor then went on to tell me that we would probably have to have a planned induction if Bub didn’t come early & that I would have to stay in hospital until the induction date, as there would be a risk for me and the baby.
in this moment I had completely felt like I had failed, my body had failed my baby and there was nothing I could do, I also felt like I failed myself as a women with the dream always to have a natural beautiful birth.
during my stay in hospital I was kept on medication to maintain my blood pressure and had the monitor on my belly to check bubs heart rate for hours on end, he seemed to be very happy & still very active.
I also wanted to add that my pregnancy wasn’t all beautiful and magical. I definitely dreamt of it that way, and yes my body grew my beautiful bundle of joy and I’m forever grateful for that, but the actual pregnancy was really difficult for me and spent a lot of the pregnancy waiting for the day he would be born and out of my body, it makes me to this day feel very guilty saying that, but that’s the truth.
Also getting close to the date I was admitted into hospital and diagnosed with pre eclampsia, I had noticed my feet were very very swollen I had actually told bailey and we had both thought It was something normal you experience during pregnancy ( which if can be ) looking back at photos now it is very noticeable to see how swollen I really was all over! but at the time me and bailey had no suspicion.
After some long conversations with doctors and lots of expressing to them that I would love to try and birth naturally, the doctors decided the safest option for Bub and myself was to set an induction date. This was booked for 4pm Wednesday the 20/09/23
I had let my partner bailey and my sister hollie know the induction date as they were the people I wanted to be with me for the birth of baby boy.
My partner wasn’t able to stay with me at the hospital and had to leave when visiting hours were over, this was really difficult for us both as we never spend time apart especially didn’t want to in a moment like this.
On the 16/09/23 my partner had plans for a night out with a friend from his hometown, As we had an induction day we didn’t expect it to be a problem and he went out.
The next morning the 17/09/23 I had the monitor on to check bubs heart rate and it had dropped rapidly compared to usual it had dropped down to the 90s and even occasionally into the 80s. I kept expressing to the midwives that this wasn’t okay and this was the lowest I have seen his heart rate and i was really worried, they explained that it could be fine and to leave the monitor on for longer to see if it goes back up. It did for short periods of time then would drop back down into the 90s. I kept expressing my concern and they got a second opinion, During this time I started to experience cramping and told the midwives every time they came into the room which was quite frequently because of the concern of bubs heart rate dropping. No matter how many times I said I was concerned and told them my cramps were getting worse they explained it was normal. I texted bailey while this was all happening and explained bubs heart rate had dropped and that I felt weird he should come. Bailey had no way of getting to me and at the time I didn’t know that was the case.
After a short while they took the monitor off of my belly & said that I was able to go for a walk if I wanted to, to get out of the room.
I decided to go sit outside in the sun for a while. As soon as I started walking down the stairs of the hospital I instantly felt the weirdest most indescribable feeling, it almost felt like I could’ve died, I just felt completely unreal and completely ill, I had managed to walk back up the stairs somehow and right at the top was a bathroom I went in and the first thing I saw was myself in the mirror my vision was very blurry but I could see my reflection a bit and i noticed my skin was as yellow as a Simpson character, I knew something wasn’t okay I knew I wasn’t okay and I didn’t know what to do I felt not real and so out of it. Again I managed to walk my way down to the maternity ward and I decided I just needed to have a shower it felt like I maybe it would make me feel better to have the water run on me, I was so clueless I didn’t know what to do, I walked in turned on the shower and immediately felt like I was going down & called the buzzer. In that moment multiple nurses and doctors came in and laid me down I was in agony the worst most painful pain I could imagine. I was screaming and groaning and the doctor said I think it’s best we go to a birth suite with those screams.
After this everything is a bit of a blur and I can only really remember pieces but they wanted to check and see how everything looked. I think I was around 3cm dilated and the doctor had broken my waters it was just filled with loads of blood. They were concerned and quickly explained they were taking me into an emergency c - section, loads of nurses and doctors were surrounding me I was so out of it, so overwhelmed and felt so alone and so scared, I was so worried about my baby I was even so worried for myself I had no idea if we were going to be okay. I had one midwife take my phone to try and ring bailey and hollie they weren’t picking up she kept repeating tia I keep calling neither of them are answeing. I was so scared to be alone, but i was so grateful she kept trying them. Everything moved so quick and the next minute I was getting taken into surgery
I remember having the mask put over my face as they had to put me to sleep quickly, they had to get Bub out asap. When they had the mask over my face I was so scared I felt like I was getting suffocated I tried ripping it off and then at some-point I took a breath and then I just woke back up and which then I was told Bub was born and he was born not breathing they had to resuscitate him for 1 minute he was okay and that my partner bailey and sister hollie were with him. I was also told I lost a fair bit of blood. They told me they were sending bailey in to see me.
The look on baileys face when he walked into the room to see me, is a look I will never forget. My heart broke for him I could see his heartache and I could see the worry that he clearly went through.
Shortly after I was wheeled on the bed to where Bub was being looked after to finally meet him, I was very much drugged up and out of it which made the first time meeting him really difficult for me I had so many emotions but I couldn’t even express them as I was so drugged up. I got to hold him which was so so special & then I vomited on him LOL poor bubba. Honestly thought that was pretty funny for our first moment together, typical me moment haha.
after some time together bubba had to be taken to Gold Coast hospital as he would be going into the nicu. I would have to wait longer as an ambulance wasn’t ready for me yet, when Bub was leaving they bought him into the room for me to say goodbye before they left. There is no worse feeling than having to see your baby be taken away from you.
While we were waiting for the ambulance which was a fair while. Hollie bailey and I had a few laughs they were both hungover af and I was still so drugged out. I’m forever grateful for these two for keeping my spirits up after something really traumatic happened.
Also while waiting I was kind of given a run down of what happened and what the plan was for my recovery. I experienced a fetal abruption - a serious pregnancy complication where the placenta detaches from the womb, this can deprive the baby from oxygen.
and with my pre eclampsia I had to be kept in high care until my blood pressure was under control. Let’s just say that was one hell of a week of high and low blood pressure episodes oh my lord when I tell you I was soooo sick ! But I had amazing doctors/nurses/midwives at Gold Coast I felt so safe and so well looked after & they gave bailey the treatment and praise he deserved because he was a true hero for me he helped in so many ways, I couldn’t be more grateful.
One of the nurses we got fairly close to and got quite emotional on our last day saying good bye, we gave some big cuddles and she said to me Tia you have got a real good one she says he is one of the most caring sweetest partners I have seen here. And it made me so proud to call him mine and have him the father of our bubba boy.
I still to this day really struggle with what happened to me and it’s not something I feel i can get over for a long time. I’m just going to have to take it day by day and remember to be extremely grateful for the outcome, because we have our beautiful baby Weston & we are both happy and healthy🩵
Some things I have been really been struggling with since this event
Scared of being alone
The day repeating in my head over & over
Being away from Bub, I really cannot be away from him I have to be by his side always
The feeling of not having control of my body
The fear of going through this again and getting pregnant again, even though we want more kids.
jealousy of other women who experience a natural birth with a healthy baby
My goal is to work on the troubles I face with what happened, and live day by day without having the anxiety and stress. Like I said it will take some time and I will acknowledge that but will work on slowly getting myself back to a place where I can enjoy things without worrying. for example leaving Bub with Bailey and doing something for myself without worrying about something happening.
SOME PICTURES :
My scar :
First time holding Weston without being drugged up :
First time holding him after surgery :
Pumping for Bub while he was in nicu :
I want to let anyone know who may have been through a similar experience that you are not alone and to never feel guilty for the feelings you have they are very much valid and understandable. This is your body and your life and no one can tell you how to heal and how quickly you should, take your time & be patient with yourself. 🧡
Much love Tia